By Brookelin Thorpe
Let’s talk about open relationships. They’re all the rage these days.
I’ve tried them a couple times, myself – but never successfully, so I won’t be doling out any advice in this article.
That doesn’t mean that others haven’t been plenty successful – and very happy – at it.
An open relationship isn’t for everybody, but it suits many people better than a strictly monogamous one does. If you’re one of those people, and more importantly, if you and your partner are those people, you may be wondering how it’s done.
Not surprisingly, open relationships are much like normal people relationships in that different arrangements suit different people. Where they diverge is that most people have much more practice at monogamous relationships. They also have more references to look toward for guidance.
You could use a hand.
Before you embark on an open relationship, you and your partner need to agree on a few things.
To Bone or Not to Bone
Contrary to popular belief, in many cases, having an open relationship isn’t about having permission to bang everything in sight. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it is – but most people who just want to have sex with everybody aren’t going to put in the time and effort into maintaining any relationship, let alone an open one.
While the vast majority of open relationships do involve sex at some point, others don’t – or it’s something that has to be approved by the primary partner first.
People need a lot out of life. They need the time and attention of someone they care about. They need someone to do things with. They need someone to share their interests. They need people with conflicting view points.
All of these things lead to a more rounded character.
Many people find that they are able to explore their own personal demons, virtues and emotional needs more fully by being involved with more than one person. Not because there’s anything wrong with the first person, just that different people are able to access different sides of you.
That might sound like an incredibly girly thing to say, but guys are actual people, too? I’m told. With thoughts and feels and all that. Not only do they benefit from having more emotional contact, but they also don’t like the idea of their partner getting dirty with someone else – and having a no-bone rule makes it easier to get the best of both worlds.
Couples starting off in this direction often have rules about exactly how many bases their partner can run with their side flings. Crossing those boundaries constitutes cheating.
How Much Do You Want to Know?
Many people start out wanting to know everything and then find out that they don’t want to know one damn thing.
It’s hard to guess what you’ll be okay with ahead of time, but you have to try.
Some people go with full details about everything all the time. The mentality behind this is that more communication is better, right? With all the details, you don’t have to worry about what your partner isn’t telling you because you’re now closer than ever. Complete trust.
You can read more of this article in our April 2015 issue of ModelsMania